Relationship Help

Reasons to consider counseling:

• There’s a lot of negative communication
• You’re just roommates
• Negative feelings have turned into hurtful or harmful behaviors to your partner
• Thinking a temporary separation is the solution
• You’re considering having an affair or have had one
• Staying together only for the sake of the kids
• You’re in gridlock and don’t know how to fix it.

Marriage counseling

I completed an externship in Emotion Focused Couple Counseling (EFT) which is based on adult attachment theory and love. This therapy has been undergone a lot of research, empirical validation, and proven to be highly effective.

Highly negative emotional communication causes relationship distress. EFT structures small steps toward safe engagement so you can comfort and reassure each other rather than criticize and blame. When you are criticized you feel attacked and fear sets in, blocking your ability to connect.  Often your relationship is locked into the same recurring negative dialogues. Often you end up withdrawing from your partner to save the  relationship from any further distress. One person may pursue to reconnect but it is done in an angry critical manner. This therapy can guide you into a more secure, safe attachment with your partner.

I also teach marriage communication skills using the Imago Dialogue in which one person listens and states back what the other says, then validates what has just been said and offers empathy.

For homework I assign couples to work through “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work” by John Gottman.

Hopefully if you commit to this process, you will be reminded why you fell in love and move to a positive relationship.